What woman want: A mathematical approach

Disclaimer: With all due respect to our great forefathers who never dared to venture into this territory, I, Vamagandhi, present this piece with nobel and humanitarian intentions. Any coincidence and resemblance is purely incidental, unintentional, unmotivated, and all their synonyms. 

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1. Binary mind (0 and 1 rule): 

Hypothesis: Women have two strongly opposite opinions decided impromptu, and thus difficult to guess.

Tests conducted: Buying anything for woman: Anything. From toilet soap to a glittering jewellery.

Results:

A loud exciting yeaayyy, the hugs and kisses, and o-i-luv-u-so-much;

Or,

a disgruntled face, vocal blurt-out, stamping feet, and go-change-it-immediately. 

2. Stochastic process: 

Hypothesis: Every decision is indeterminate, and you have to rely on series of indeterminate events to derive a certain probability. 

Tests conducted: Restaurant menu is a perfect set of variables. Based on many stochastic predictions, I could accurately predict she is going to detest what she finally ordered, and we will be switching our meals soon. 

Results: I slurped the Chicken Jakutti in a nasty broth, while she gobbled on my Afghani Kebabs. Goddamn! Stochastic process!!

3. Mutual exclusion principle

Hypothesis: No two critical processes can be handled at same time, and one is bound to compromise or change the source.

Test conducted: The famous TV remote experiment where a climax of football match competes with climax of TV soap.

Result: Ofcourse the TV soap continued. Watched the highlights late night.

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Early results forecasted. Experiments running…..