Howz life in Lanka? Hope you would have got nose job done by now? You know! In a fit of rage, I just felt like chopping your berry-black tufty nosy.
If only I knew you were Lankapati’s sister, I would have dated you. What you would have liked at date? Never dated an asura girl you know. How about wild boar thighs and bison chips in lovely Amavasya night?
Besides I am married on a lifetime contract signed by all of my brothers. And you know my brothers, right? Men of words. Praan jaaye par vachan na jaaye.
And look at you!
Blobby cheeks, wrinkled chin; Thiggy lips, teeth never in; Jungly hair, makes me scare; Eyes so grue, grisly too; nature’s threat, is that you?
Apart from your oversized breasts, there is absolutely nothing to look at. And what would I do with them? Open a dairy farm in Ayodhya? Kids would play bouncing castles on your pot belly.
You truly are the ugliest woman in universe, with or without a chopped nose.
But, let me confess a thing. You are the only one who would be remembered forever with me. This hate story would surmount all the love stories of Ramayana.
Nose would become a symbol of pride. Kings would cut the nose of traitors. Girls marrying out-of-caste would be treated as somebody who chopped the nose of family.
If Valmiki releases his new edition, I would ask him to chop this episode instead of chopping your nose. But, that would chop my role too. Out of Ramayana 2. Nah! Afterall, it was only brave act I remember I did.
Don’t you think I am a racist, opportunist, sexist, narcissist…..and all those ‘ists’? People who weigh woman by colour and size of breasts? People who take pride in thrashing women and label them sinners?
Shurpee! Forgive me for my sins. Even if it was the most beautiful girl on earth, I would have chopped the nose.
I just followed the scripts.
(the man who cut your nose)