Eggological

Never been stranded on an island, but if such a day comes, I would surely hunt on the ‘eggs’ of all existing species. That would virtually be merciless eradication of non-mammals from the island. No eggs, no life. But, if you truly believed grandpa Darwin talking about survival of fittest, better not leave this egg-vulture on an island. There is atleast one man on earth who needs two things for living- one, oxygen and other, the sparkling white and delicately oval entity colloquially called ‘egg’. 

Talking of being stranded, I have been on such quests of isolation, when I had survival woes. Its not exactly god who saved me, but the mundane eggs. I would cook bland ‘egg curry’ of dozen eggs, eat it every night and keep dropping new arrays of ‘boiled eggs’ with little salt and water to titrate the ‘curry’. One session of cooking, and a fortnight of dinner. On even lazy days, it would be more westernised with just bread slices, a little margarine and the ‘eggs’. Sunny side up or down, depending on my mood. And the brutally blended beated omellette when I am utterly pissed off. 

It just never mattered to eggs, how I treated it. It tasted consistently the same, across the world, and nearly across the species. The softness of eve’s bossom hidden beneath the enamel hard shells, and true bleeding yellow yolk at its heart. Ah heaven! And above all, it never pleaded for credits. Vegetarians barred it often, and non-vegetarians never regarded it a meat. Fruits never let it sit it among them, while people found ways of baking cake without it. Indians could relate it as OBC without quota, but I would equate it to Mahatma Gandhi. The man who never wished for an office, and never could win a Nobel, yet smiles elegantly in many offices, books and parks across the world. From muffins to mayonaise, egg rules everywhere uncredited yet unsurpassable. 

People roll out this chicken-egg puzzle. Who came first? Let me end this dilemma once and for all. Its the chicken!! Egg never believed in coming first. The benevolence exemplified. Its non-existent like ‘zero’ (ironically its shape too), yet an entity of greatest virtue. People make fun of it when your marksheets have more of eggs. Throw them at Bhusawal platform where they won’t find anything worthy to eat apart from omellette! If you equate eggs with ‘zero’, its time to equate those students with Swami Vivekanand who is rumoured to be protagonist of zero. (Note: Author doesn’t have any conclusive evidence that Swami Vivekanand ever ate eggs)

Happy Easter!

4 thoughts on “Eggological

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s