2015

Jan-March

# For all budding satirists like me, it was a moral boosting year and I began dreaming of being gunned down some day like Charlie Hebdo team or narrowly escaping like Denmark cartoonist Lars Viks. Indian cartoonists could never deserve such a gun-salute, and quintessential common-man R K Laxman saa’b died just short of century at 94.

# The boring oldie Yojana Aayog finally gets a hot and sexy feminine name- NITI.

# Year’s first bollywood blockbuster release MSG became the first movie where popcorn had to be flavoured with anti-nauseating drugs.

# Arvind Kejriwal purposely takes oath on Valentine’s day, to lampoon off his ex-girlfriend Kiran Bedi.

# De Villiers finishes fastest 50, 100 and 150, in 18, 31 and 64 balls; settles once for all.

# Culprit for economic slowdown found- ‘cow slaughter’; Immediate steps taken, and beef was banned in many states.

# Bharat Ratna was announced and a Steve Harvey clone got confused between Malviya and Vajpayee; finally both were awarded.

# Hilary Clinton replicates her husband in debauchery; possesses an illicit email account.

# Indian PM Narendra Modi covers up island nations- Seychelles, Mauritius and Srilanka, and for a change ‘Singapore’.

 

April-Jun

# Ireland legalises gay marriage; US embraces the machoistic Cuba, and also legalises gay marriage on similar note.

# Indian labs discover water on mars?

No. Lead in maggi.

# Indian comedian Kapil Sharma becomes popular icon on ATM screens in Greece, with his trademark ‘babaji ka thullu’ image.

# Microsoft puts an end to OS, designing its last and nastiest Windows 10.

# Nepal-the precarious state shatters under quake.

# Indian PM Narendra Modi could only visit China, Canada, France, Germany, Mongolia, South Korea, Bangladesh; Long way to go.

 

July-Sept

# The good and bad Muslims of India die in quick succession; TV channels give Yakub Menon and Kalam Saa’b equal respect.

# India gives formal recognition to its first indigenous adventure sport- ‘Dahi-Handi‘. Bid for Olympics awaited.

# An Indian Sundar Pichai becomes google CEO, and Sunny Leone, the most googled personality.

# Europe suddenly gets flooded with uncalled visitors called ‘refugees’.

# Donald Trump and Lalu Prasad Yadav lead debates in their respective junctures.

# Three AAP MLA arrested, and 16 Vyapam convicts in BJP governed MP released.

# Modijee covers US, Russia, Ujbekistan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyhzstan, Tajikistan (huff! all are different), Ireland, UAE.

 

October-Dec

# Indian parliament becomes ‘paper-less’ which opposition MPs protested only to be assured that toilets are still not paper-less.

# Virender Sehwag retires losing hope, while Yuvraj Singh sneaks into Indian team.

# CBI ‘unearths’ 28 lacs from Kejriwal’s secretary and seizes a huge amount of 3 lacs of currency.

# A friendly match between Kirti Azad and Arun Jaitley organised by Delhi CM, ends up in bitter ‘foul-play’ pillow-fights.

# Ignoring repititive abuses, Kejriwal captures the first and last lap of year with his cynical odd-even formula.

# Modijee’s one month in Bihar goes in vain, disastrously losing election; covers up UK, US, Russia, France, Turkey, Malaysia, Singapore in a hush-up.

 

Note: Author has spoofed up certain events and they don’t represent either truth or opinion, rather a fictional satire. Many events are based on writer’s memory based on newspaper reads during morning rituals; Kindly avoid using it as current affairs brush-up tool.

 

 

 

 

5 thoughts on “2015

    1. I really don’t know who posted this absurdity on my behalf. My mac was hacked for a while. But I won’t apologize since the hacker is begging me to do so. Hey! You missed the unprecedented landing of some sorts.

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