The intelligent idiot

While rest of the world thinks I am a genius, atleast there is one human on this planet who proclaims me an idiot because I always bring an expired sandwich-bread! Would Newton or Einstein would have checked expiry date on a bread? Being a doctor, I do mean what an expiry means. But, this bloody bread expires within a week, as if all the fungus in the world are waiting for that very hour to infect all the humans. The fury of expired bread-loaf….hooohooohaaaa…..won’t spare anyone.

Well, this may be one idiocy, but there are plenty.

# I always withdraw twice from ATM and play with all the buttons, just to see an irritated face of person standing behind me.

# I always get down to pee when a bus halts even for a minute. I strongly believe, bus always stops to bestow this pleasure on us.

# I love to stand in a busy traffic on Maratahalli bridge (bangaloreans would know travails of it), just to catch a glimpse of dog-sex happening beneath; and as I smile in ecstasy, many passerby bikers join me to create a huge traffic jam.

# I always give tip to the waiter beforehand, because I believe he would fart on my burger to make it spicy otherwise.

# I never put fan on max speed and never sleep directly below it, because one astrologer told I would die of a fan falling on me.

# I have thrown some 437 coins in river ganges from the passing train, since somebody told it fulfils the wishes.

# I love to ease myself in the toilet in running train, but I never use toilet in a flight.

(I believe plane toilets have some vacuum-cleaner mechanism, which would pull my mojo into it.)

# I go to toilet three times every morning, one for headlines, one for editorial and one for sports page reading.

# I pretend as if my vehicle broke down when somebody honks from behind, giving an abrupt stop, jerky starts and slow nudges.

# I recently had a wonderful dinner at a marriage party, and couldn’t find my family because they were sitting in true marriage party happening in some other marriage hall on same street.

# I remember the full name of Pablo Picasso

Pablo Diego Jose Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno Maria de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santisima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso

..
P.S. Will be back with another post if alive

(I am making a suicidal attempt of eating four loafs of an expired bread while writing this post)

27 thoughts on “The intelligent idiot

  1. Reblogged this on blabberwockying! and commented:
    This is truly hilarious. I would have loved to see Dr. Jha creating traffic jam on Marathalli bridge in Bangalore; sadly I had to leave Bangalore too soon! Salutes and bows to Doctors Saab!!

  2. I can empathise with the flight toilet fear. All that pulling action makes me scared of losing important stuff.
    Besides, train toilets are the best. Indian railways mein you can find all sorts of abstract art painted with…ahem…something.

      1. This was really great. I even shared all your best posts’ links to my friends on whatsapp…specially that Sehwag one..!
        You really write great! Keep it up!

  3. Your thinking is very bold loud and very detailed. I am sure many connect with you coz they also experience these things err… the dog fuck is a daring thing to mention as is the farty waiter.
    Nice to read!

  4. I’m sure you’ll be back with another post, my friend. You could eat expired bread all your life and dream up odd vocations – I have a feeling you’d tide over it all with your awesome sense of humor!

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