The nagging world of bloggers

Few days back while I was gobbling on some delicious ‘kebabs’, I got a SMS from my wife ‘Quit Facebook’. Like old age telegrams, which usually brought bad news in rudest impathetic way, ‘FATHER DIED. MOTHER SICK’. Telegram virtually meant a death-knell or something equally sinister. A terse warning SMS from wife was no less than the telegram. With a ‘kebab’ in one hand, I somehow manoevred to ‘deactivate’ my account and ‘delete’ the facebook app. Reason seemed to be pretty obvious- my nagging verbose sunday blogs bombarded on casual respite-seeking petty humans. Devoid of facebook likes, I was virtually thrown into the world of like/comment/award-hungry blogger beasts on WordPress and blogger networks.

The world of bloggers

Verbal diarrheas

Blogposts seem to never end, like an incoherent rant after a marijuana puff. If you are bored at very first paragraph, you click on ‘like’ and move ahead. If you somehow sail through the entire post, you ‘reblog’ it to share your suffering with rest of world. Did wordpress really mean ‘revenge’ instead of the ‘reblog’ button? A smart blogger would just randomly click ‘like’ to all blogs with his notifications flooded with undeserved ‘thanks’ messages. Probably, one who is thanking is just reminding him that suffering is not going to end.

Shakespeare out of the grave

Recently I read a blog which said something like, “procrastination of obfuscated maladies may abrogate one of his quintessential hackneyed philosophy”.  

Oh! You dared to read my blog? I will trap you in such a verbal monkey-maze, you will doubt if you ever went to school.

On the top of it, if it’s a poem written by some amateur John Keats, neither you understand the language nor the theme. Either its a blurt of some grad-school hopeful GRE-muggers or somebody working on a blogging course prompt or a ten-words-a-day practicing guys or a sadist language buff. Sadist language buffs are most dangerous of them who would drag you to read your post, and give a sleepless night of ignorance. Drowned in ignominy, I ordered a good dictionary from Amazon.

Blog or image gallery?

If your blog doesn’t have some pic like a ‘whirling balloons’, ‘back of a dusky women’, ‘weird flower species’, ‘pondering nerdy fellow’, you are doomed. I don’t know why great poets and novelists never got this genius idea. Imagine a royal bengal tiger sitting in the middle of William Blake’s blog mocking Edgar Allen Poe’s raven. Alfred Tennyson ‘like’ing them, and blasting them with long harangues in comments.

Autistic rants

Many shy girls, married women, back-benchers, bullied school kids, repititive losers, people in mid-life crisis (oh! that’s me. read my old blog),  or old men reminiscing their past lives become expressive in virtual space. Broken love and sexual starvation finds a space for forbidden and hidden emotions. Teenagers platter their secret love life, with blog titled ‘the way he touched me’. If you have a blogger girlfriend, beware with your moves! Next day it might be a blogging sensation with hundred of ‘likes’.

Attention-seekers

Why would I care in the middle of night if phone suddenly buzzes with a notification? Why would somebody reply to a comment within seconds? A conceited grin at rising list of followers. A blog homepage studded with digital ‘blogger awards’ as if they represent Nobel and Bookers. Its but natural to expect enough appreciation when you spend hours writing, rearranging and designing your blog. Everytime somebody ‘likes’, you read your entire blog again in self-appreciation. A forced positivity. And ofcourse, a ‘like’ by an opposite sex may carry a bit more weightage.

Money-minting blogs

These are the people who really get a minuscule worth for their blogs. Tech-savvies or travelogues or photographers, with huge traffic. But, essentially, they can’t be categorised as blogs rather informative websites.

Three essentials of bloggers

  1. Write for others: Something which looks interesting and awesome to you, may not appeal a bit to others.
  2. Be original: No prompts; No premonitions; No peer pressure.
  3. Comment and like genuinely: Read a blog, encourage with true comments, and don’t like unless you really do so.

READ MORE:

Blogging: Addiction or conviction

Mock ’10’ signs of blog addiction

20 ways you know you are addicted to blogging

What to do if you hate blogging?

13 thoughts on “The nagging world of bloggers

  1. Reading to be read will make one go mad and liking to be liked is a huge waste of time. I read what I like, like what I like, and I write because it keeps my heart and head aligned. Having said all that, I very much enjoyed reading this. It made me laugh so, I will be back to read more. Blogging, like most things in life, is relational.:0)

  2. And thats what makes you an original and prolific writer. My blog may seem harsh to some and my apologies for that. But, I feel these RSS feeds, stats, followers, likes, ranks are diluting the originality and freedom of expression. Blogs unless subject to criticism, and frank comments, would not improve.

  3. I liked the last 3 lines….the 3 essentials of bloggers. something which I hope most bloggers will follow! I do not like or comment on a post unless I genuinely mean it. To me, it looks like deceit if you did press the like button just for the sake of it!
    Most times, I comment along with a like…but sometimes I find myself speechless (or wordless….to type anything in the comments box!) that’s the only time I would leave a blog with a like alone….
    Of course, I enjoy a variety of posts the blogs I follow post, some even well written award posts…! I do not categorize based on that, as long as the content holds my interest, I am game to reading anything!
    Thank you for an interesting blog post!

  4. True facts. Bloggers can be so desperate for attention, that would include myself. But sometimes it isn’t about how many people read your posts or how many like them, sometimes merely writing down your thoughts is a pleasure, as if freeing all that is within you.That satisfaction keeps you going, whether or not others notice it.

  5. Perfect analysis. And I agree those ‘ verbal monkey maze ‘ get too irritating . Most of us might have similar thoughts and experiences here but none could have expressed it so well. Wonderful writing style 🙂

  6. Oh…I had so much fun reading this post. It feels like I haven’t read anything this in many days. Great job!
    And I loved that Shakespeare’s thung with the most can’t-guess-even-if-the-world-ends words.

  7. We are all looking for authenticity in posts and one can rightly feel while reading it.The perspective and writing styles of bloggers make it all unique. Once again I pressed like for your posts which captures genuine attention with your witty humor.

  8. I liked this quirky post. The categorizing of bloggers is hilarious. But, there are a few bloggers out there who fall into yet another category: the genuine bloggers; the ones who follow the three rules you have mentioned in your post.

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